OK. For all you teenagers who are used to sex and violence on TV, this is a story of sex and violence right out of the bible. Here are some facts about David. The bible says that David was a man after God's own heart. He is one of the greatest kings in all the bible and he was Jesus' great great ... great grandfather. As a matter of fact, God chose David to replace King Saul and God knew David was going to screw up pretty big time before it even happened.
Now it was the time of the year when armies went out to war. So King David sent his army out to destroy some dudes called the Ammonites but David didn't go with them. He stayed at the capital, Jerusalem. Now David was a warrior and had been all his life. I suspect, David was a little bored because he didn't get to go out with the rest of his army like normal. So David was up walking around the roof of his house and he spots this hot chick. She is naked and taking a bath. Her name was Bathsheba. Well naturally, this got David all hot and bothered. The thing was, David had a whole bunch of wives and even more mistresses. Back in those days it was cool and so that's what he did. So in the bible at that time, David had more than one wife and God was cool with this (see 2 Samuel 12:8).
The problem was this lady was already the wife of a guy named Uriah. Now I am not really sure whether or not David raped her or not. But it seems kind of close. He sent messengers who took her to David and they got it on. Unfortunately for David, it wasn't safe sex. They didn't have condoms or the pill in those days so he knocked Bathsheba up (she got pregnant with David's kid). This was really bad. So far, David is a pervert for watching her take a bath, he's an adulterer for having sex with her while she was still married and I think according to today's standard's he's a rapist. This is a long way from the boy who killed Goliath but the worst was yet to come.
David knew he would be in trouble for knocking Bathsheba up so he tried to cover up his sin. Bathsheba's husband was in the army and was out killing the Ammonites with David's army. So David sent for him to come home. When Uriah got home he went to see the king and the king pretty much told him to go home and have sex with his wife. David thought that this would fix things. They didn't have paternity tests in those days so if Uriah had sex with Bathsheba after David did, everyone could claim the baby was Uriah's and the situation would be fixed right? Well Uriah was a good guy and he wouldn't go home to his wife. He didn't know she was pregnant and he told the king that he couldn't go home to her and have sex knowing that all his buddies were out there fighting. He slept over at the palace and headed back to the front. Now David was really in a tough spot. He couldn't lie about the pregnancy thing and he was about to get in a lot of trouble. So he devised the worst plan yet.
His commanding general was a dude named Joab. So he sent orders to Joab telling him that he wanted Uriah placed on the front lines of the fight. Now the Israeli army was surrounding this town that was protected by walls. They were working on taking the town. But this could be tricky business. So David told Joab to attack the city with Uriah on the very front line. Then David told Joab to retreat so that the Ammonites could whack Uriah. Problem solved. Uriah gets killed during the battle and David marries Bathsheba. That's exactly what happened. After Uriah got killed in the fight, David married Bathsheba but there was a little problem of the Lord. See the Lord saw the whole thing and he didn't let David get away with any of it. David got punished. But David did something that many people didn't do. He asked the Lord to forgive him and the Lord did. David went on to be a great king and lived to a very old age. What's more, he had another kid with Bathsheba named Solomon. Solomon went on to be the smartest dude in the whole world.
So what bad things have you done today? David was an adulterer, a pervert who watched women bathe (that was pornography from 3000 years ago), a rapist, an attempted liar and a murderer all rolled into one dude. Even after all that, God still forgave him and used him to do big things. So I want you to understand that sometimes we make mistakes but even when we make really bad ones, God doesn't leave us or abandon us. Even when we make colossal mistakes, God still has a really good plan for our lives. No matter what you have done, God has great plans in store for you. Don't ever give up on you. God never does.
This story came from 2 Samuel 11 and 12.
That's the Minion's version of David and Bathsheba
Now it was the time of the year when armies went out to war. So King David sent his army out to destroy some dudes called the Ammonites but David didn't go with them. He stayed at the capital, Jerusalem. Now David was a warrior and had been all his life. I suspect, David was a little bored because he didn't get to go out with the rest of his army like normal. So David was up walking around the roof of his house and he spots this hot chick. She is naked and taking a bath. Her name was Bathsheba. Well naturally, this got David all hot and bothered. The thing was, David had a whole bunch of wives and even more mistresses. Back in those days it was cool and so that's what he did. So in the bible at that time, David had more than one wife and God was cool with this (see 2 Samuel 12:8).
The problem was this lady was already the wife of a guy named Uriah. Now I am not really sure whether or not David raped her or not. But it seems kind of close. He sent messengers who took her to David and they got it on. Unfortunately for David, it wasn't safe sex. They didn't have condoms or the pill in those days so he knocked Bathsheba up (she got pregnant with David's kid). This was really bad. So far, David is a pervert for watching her take a bath, he's an adulterer for having sex with her while she was still married and I think according to today's standard's he's a rapist. This is a long way from the boy who killed Goliath but the worst was yet to come.
David knew he would be in trouble for knocking Bathsheba up so he tried to cover up his sin. Bathsheba's husband was in the army and was out killing the Ammonites with David's army. So David sent for him to come home. When Uriah got home he went to see the king and the king pretty much told him to go home and have sex with his wife. David thought that this would fix things. They didn't have paternity tests in those days so if Uriah had sex with Bathsheba after David did, everyone could claim the baby was Uriah's and the situation would be fixed right? Well Uriah was a good guy and he wouldn't go home to his wife. He didn't know she was pregnant and he told the king that he couldn't go home to her and have sex knowing that all his buddies were out there fighting. He slept over at the palace and headed back to the front. Now David was really in a tough spot. He couldn't lie about the pregnancy thing and he was about to get in a lot of trouble. So he devised the worst plan yet.
His commanding general was a dude named Joab. So he sent orders to Joab telling him that he wanted Uriah placed on the front lines of the fight. Now the Israeli army was surrounding this town that was protected by walls. They were working on taking the town. But this could be tricky business. So David told Joab to attack the city with Uriah on the very front line. Then David told Joab to retreat so that the Ammonites could whack Uriah. Problem solved. Uriah gets killed during the battle and David marries Bathsheba. That's exactly what happened. After Uriah got killed in the fight, David married Bathsheba but there was a little problem of the Lord. See the Lord saw the whole thing and he didn't let David get away with any of it. David got punished. But David did something that many people didn't do. He asked the Lord to forgive him and the Lord did. David went on to be a great king and lived to a very old age. What's more, he had another kid with Bathsheba named Solomon. Solomon went on to be the smartest dude in the whole world.
So what bad things have you done today? David was an adulterer, a pervert who watched women bathe (that was pornography from 3000 years ago), a rapist, an attempted liar and a murderer all rolled into one dude. Even after all that, God still forgave him and used him to do big things. So I want you to understand that sometimes we make mistakes but even when we make really bad ones, God doesn't leave us or abandon us. Even when we make colossal mistakes, God still has a really good plan for our lives. No matter what you have done, God has great plans in store for you. Don't ever give up on you. God never does.
This story came from 2 Samuel 11 and 12.
That's the Minion's version of David and Bathsheba
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